F.Y. I

I never know what to say on this here blog. So here are some random thoughts.

Yesterday I was feeling nostalgic. This was probably because I turned on the TV and Meet Me in St. Louis was on. This movie always makes me feel like a little kid. I always thought Judy Garland was the coolest! When I was little I loved that she had red hair like me! Yesterday as I was watching it I couldn't help but be distracted with thoughts of her tragic and sad life. I think I miss the obliviousness I had when I was little.-Back when the only thing I could think when watching was how great it would be to fall in love with your handsome neighbor, and live in St. Louis, and wear red velvet ball gowns, and randomly burst into song on the trolley. This movie is, admittedly, a little overdone and a little cheesy, but mostly it's just a whole lotta awesome!

I feel homesick for the beach. For some reason the ocean makes me feel lonesome but whole all at once. I don't really understand what that means- but it's the truth. I guess what I mean is I feel connected to God and to other people at the beach, while at the same time I can't help but recognize my own insignificance. There is something about the water reaching across so much land and yet being connected and right in front of me all at the same time. - I don't know. It's just cool. And it smells good.

Last month I read a really amazing book. The glass castle. It was thought provoking, painful and difficult to read, and very rewarding. The truth is we have no idea what other people are going through. We are limited to our own individual experiences. Reading books like this, reminds me to be a more compassionate and sympathetic person. I think the only real point in life is to help others feel the love of God. What could be more important or more worthy?

I recently tried to make a chocolate torte. It did not work out - and I don't want to talk about it.

Most of my friends are married and having babies. I'm not. It's ok. I think eventually I will, but I can't help but think that the timing is gonna be all off. My kids will probably be much younger than all their cousins and all my friends kids. That makes me sad. I wish I could put them all on pause until I'm ready for that phase of life.

I LOVE the way my new sketchbook smells. DELICIOUS!

I can not shake thoughts of moving to New York or Boston. On Friday I spent the whole day at work looking up information about apartments in both cities. For me, big cities are stimulating and exciting. It is easy to feel productive and alive in a big city because there are always so many options for things to learn and see and do and experience. I like the diversity that's in a big city.

Damien Rice is so chill. I love the song Delicate.